#MentalHealthMonday- Building Up Friendships with an Anxiety Disorder.

Hello everyone, I do apologize for my inactivity here. I felt like I needed to have a bit of a breather from blogging to finish off some other things happening offline but I’m back with another Mental Health Monday post which is to concern with making friends with others whilst having to deal with an Anxiety disorder.

Being social is definitely not my strong suit. Having speech therapy from a young age was meant to help me communicate better with others and lead an active life filled with friends and going out to lots of different places. It didn’t help much. When I discovered writing, I felt alive. Finally I could speak and express myself without opening my mouth. But to some teachers at school, that was a problem. I needed to talk to others.

I remember one time when I was 11 and seeing a group of students at my old school sitting on a picnic bench and noticing me standing alone in the corner by a building. One of them yelled, “Hey, come and sit with us.” But I didn’t know who they were and they looked way out of my league so I said politely, “No thank you.” And I walked off towards somewhere quiet to sit down. After that, I was told off by a teacher for not spending time with them. And this is where today comes in.

Personally, I feel that you shouldn’t be forced into sitting down and talking to people that make you feel uncomfortable or not be put on the spot like that. Being told off wasn’t really the best outcome either. This event happened long before my Anxiety disorder diagnosis but for me, I don’t regret sitting down with these group of people.

The same thing happened at College in my first year, I was being introduced to groups of other students who I simply didn’t want to talk to either because I found them too intimating or they simply didn’t want to talk to me because of a lack of interests.

What I will say is that I do have some very close friends now which is great but it took me a long time to find the people I truly did want to build friendships with. My tips for this post are:

  1. Find people with similar interests to you which can build a better connection.
  2. Don’t be forced on the spot to talk to someone, always speak up if you find this uncomfortable, be truthful.
  3. If your Anxiety is telling you that a person is sending off some bad vibes, listen to it and walk away.
  4. Do not beat yourself up if you don’t get friends quickly. Keep looking and stay yourself.
  5. If you haven’t been diagnosed with an Anxiety disorder and you do feel nervous/unwell about being around other people, go to your GP or speak to a councillor about it. The sooner, the better.

That’s it for today’s post, see you all on Monday for the next mental health update. If you have any tips/stories that you would like to share, post them in the comments section. Love to hear from you.

Next week’s post: Travelling Out With Anxiety.

Alice x


2 thoughts on “#MentalHealthMonday- Building Up Friendships with an Anxiety Disorder.

  1. I absolutely agree with you Alice. There is too much pressure on us all, but especially at school, to ‘make’ friends. I don’t think one can ‘make’ friends. Friends just sort of appear, stick around and before you’re aware of it, you are far closer than you would have been if forced into it. I think that people give off the vibes which you mention; we then become aware of those vibes and, if they fit in with our own, then we become friends. That can happen between unlikely looking people, across all ages, social divides etc…. Just look at you and me! Much love and understanding. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I loved this post. I can relate completely. I also have an anxiety disorder and not many people understand it – well if you don’t have it, you can’t really understand it. I actually studied psychology and understand my own anxiety more now, which helps a lot. What really gets to me is that people always try to force you into a situation that you really don’t want to be in. I’m 35 years old and I still sometimes get forced into these situations. You do however learn to cope with them better. For me I find talking helps in these situations. I put on a friendly face and babble away, even though I’m quaking inside, wondering whether I’m making a fool out of myself. Even typing this comment makes me wonder whether I should press the “post comment” button or not. What I’ve learned though is you can’t let your anxiety keep you from new things that will make you happy. I still struggle with this one, but… all we can do is win one battle at a time 😉


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